Here I sit, Alone I am... (Not really)

I remember riding the bus to school every morning and I would be one of the first students to get picked up. I would walk to the back of the bus, take a seat and wait. We lived in the country so the wait was long between stops, and at that particular time of day sitting in the back of a long school bus made it seem especially lonely.

I remember a poem I wrote that went something like this... "Here I sit, alone I am, on this cold bus seat. As I look across the land, my window begins to freeze. Here I sit, alone I am, staring into this blur..."

That's it! That's all I remember. So why am I blogging this? Well, I'm sitting at in Downtown, Appleton at the Harmony Cafe waiting for my appointment to arrive. He's late and as I sip my delicious Ivory White Mocha Latte (skim milk, of course!) I feel alone! Isn't it amazing what you think about when you are waiting? I'm not good at waiting - obviously. A minute feels like an hour and I squirm over the thought that I have the wrong location, the wrong time, or worse...the wrong day. I start checking every resource that is available to me, email, text messages, voicemail, and the calendar to make sure I have it right.

"Did they forget?" or "Do they have the wrong day, date, or time?" I have one eye on the clock and one eye on the door. I begin searching for something to pre-occupy myself, which is this blog at the present time. The longer I wait, the more mind begins playing tricks, for example: "What if they got in an accident, forgot, lost my number, or went to another location?

Oh boy, waiting is hard! Yet, when you stop and wait you have an opportunity to see things you may have missed. Like those 2 kids behind the corner that are laughing and having fun inbetween customers, or the pictures on the wall that I just walked right past, or my bible.

I carry it with me so if I am ever given the opportunity to sit and wait -- and this would be one of those times -- I can pick up my bible and be reminded to "cast all my anxiety on him because He cares for you." (1 Peter 5:7) or this one, "A man's wisdom gives him patience, it is to his glory to overlook an offense." Proverbs 19:11

O.k. Lord, I get it!

God is so faithful to speak to us when we need him. I'm so thankful that I have had this opportunity to wait, to be alone as a student of his word. Somehow 30 minutes has passed very quickly, I've gained some valuable insight as I sit here alone, but not really alone... He was here the whole time.

Huh? Look at that! My appointment is here. Perfect timing!